The Eve of What

This is the Eve. THE EVE. I sometimes feel it is the Eve of disappointment. Not really a Holiday. Seems based on what you get, what you want, and what you give. Where are you in all this? For me I feel on the Eve of something. Something inspirational. I looked at the moon last night. Wow, it was glowing. It was bright. It was, simply inspirational. So this Eve of something I write to you asking you to see what exactly it is the Eve of, for you, for your family, for your life. There definitely is something in the air. Or on this Earth. What is it for you. Will this something be peace? Will it be angst? How do you decide? When I feel on the Eve of something I get excited. I feel expectancy and a sense of really looking forward to something. And then I feel this moment is enough. Exactly as it is. It is enough.

New Seminar

Nick Scoggin and Shari Carlson are launching a new seminar.
The 4square process. We are offering a FREE seminar to the first 10 people who call 415-981-6464. This seminar will be in San Francisco Studio on Wednesday, December 26th , 2007 from 7pm to 9pm. This is a first. Nick Scoggin has created this for the performers. If you are one who recognizes preparation as being the key to success, then this is for you.

Think Bigger

That is the thought from Dan Belzer in Los Angeles. I agree with him. Hey, The woman I loaned the money to made another payment. Wow. Business must be booming in South America. Kiva.org. Micro Loans. What a great idea. This woman thought bigger. She wanted to buy some new utensils for her small lunch business and some tables and chairs. For her customers. So thinking bigger for her was a total of $300. I had a small $25 dollars in that amount. The rest came from other people that liked her thinking bigger. I like thinking bigger. It is fun. Let's all try it. Hmm, what would thinking bigger address? Our surroundings?, yes that would be good. What you can do for yourself and others? Yes, that would be good. Bigger hearts? Yes, that would be good. Action will follow the thought. I am thinking bigger already. Don't be afraid. Let's just do it. Okay, do it. Now go take an action. Yeah.

Rabbit Hole

Our Play is really great. I am so excited. It is so much fun to see such great work in our studio. We have a my space page. studio300theatre and we most importantly are having a great time.

If you are in San Francisco come see us. We have one more weekend. We got some great reviews too.

Payments have been made.

Can't wait to tell all of you that the Kiva.org place where I loaned money to a woman has made 2 payments already. This is so cool I am so excited. It is a welcome relief especially since I wasted 2 hours on the phone talking to Aftra/Sag wanting to know why, when my deposit reached the bank on Monday they charged me $200 in fees for paying small bills that came in on Monday. Somehow it was blamed on the post office. I had to write a letter asking them to officially review the situation. This sounds fishy to me. I will be changing banks at this point. The last time I was again $20 overdrafted and they mailed me a letter that took 5 days to reach me. A simple email would have corrected this immediately. This also sounds very fishy to me. It seems as if they do not want me to know so I can not have a chance to correct my mistake before the extract fees upwards of hundreds of dollars. I would much rather loan that money to someone in a third world country.
Fishy Fishy.

Bogging on towards What?

What are we blogging on towards? I like to think it is something that satisfies every moment. What is satisfying? Well, I guess it is different for everyone. It seems for me it is a moment fully lived, a special experience marked forever in my library of moments that are special. When I see the photos of my children and grandchildren looking so present and available acting in the moment just like themselves, I feel great satisfaction. A moment captured in time for all to see. Revealing all the moment had to offer. No pretense here. Only presence, and that is just such a present to me.

Bathroom Mirror is Hazardous to your Health

Beware of the bathroom Mirror. It can be hazardous to your health. I have actually caught people looking in the bathroom mirror and completely demoralizing themselves right before they have to appear in front of a camera. It is unbelievable how cruel and harmful people are to themselves. I was so shocked and taken aback I had to yell stop. That is so destructive. Please, when you look into a mirror be kind. Have a kind face on and a gentle way about you. No vicious derogatory statements or attacks are necessary for anyone. Your talent and creativity and inner child will appreciate this as well as your fellow performers, who are left to pick up the pieces when you are done. Cruelty is not justifiable nor is it needed for any kind of performance. Since it is such a habit for so many of you try changing it to words like, wow, I am looking quite well, or Wow, looking good today, or Hmm, have I lost some weight? I look great. Stop the violence any way you can.

What does it all mean?

I was surfing, yes on the internet. Try as I might I have not yet mastered the waves. As I was spot reading I ran across the statement "light destroys the darkness" I beg to differ. This is actually not true. Light merges with the darkness. You can not have one without the other. Both are equally valued and needed. You must understand the significance of the light merging with the dark. If you are in a room and it is dark and you turn on a light it is now light. Where did the darkness go? Nowhere. It is still there. It has merged with the light. When you turn the light off it is dark. The darkness is still there. Cool huh? this is not a war. It is nature and all is well. When people try to enlighten you it does seem sometimes like it is a war. Truly it is not. No war. Both will still exist long after we have warred ourselves into oblivion.

Well Amazement continues

Those of you who have been keeping up, I heard from the woman that I loaned $25 to to complete her $300 loan to purchase kitchen utensils and tables and chairs for her lunch business. I believe she thanked me, however she wrote in Spanish and I do not read Spanish. Hmm, I somehow feel a bit uneducated, however I will either use the computer to translate or get one of my highly educated friends to let me know what she said. I feel quite astounded and amazed that this thing may actually work. I consider it really working when I am paid back, I now consider it a great success as it has raised the level of consciousness for me and others that are near me. I am looking forward to more news and will keep you all posted. Let me know how each of you are also doing with the Kiva.org idea. Okay, watch and see.

Let it Be, Let it Be

In so many ways and means the message today is let it be. Don't change anything as nothing needs changing. Change is overrated. Let it be. Everything is perfect as it is and take a breathe and breathe it in and out and let it be. Message to self. Now a message for you. Hi, how are you? Let it be. That is the message. Much Love, Shari

Dreams

Dreams are a funny thing. I have dreams, you have dreams. I never really thought about it, but I think my dog Sushi has dreams too. Of course I have heard her yelping occasionally, and she does snore too. Yesterday I needed to rest for a few minutes so I lay down on the couch. Sushi jumped up next to me and lay down next to my head. She usually sleeps down by my feet. Well, we fell asleep together and ten minutes later I woke up startled by a very weird dream. I dreamed of a whole bunch of small dogs happily sitting around just looking me. I could tell they really liked me. Sushi woke up startled too. I am wondering if I had her dream, or if we swithced dreams. What do you think?

Gulible and Amazed.

SO THE NAME OF THE GUY WHO WON THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR CREATING A WAY TO LOAN MONEY, MOSTLY TO WOMEN IS MUHAMMAD YUNUS. THIS IS A GREAT THINKER AND NOW OF COURSE THERE IS THE WAYS AND MEANS TO DUPLICATE, WHICH IS THE HALLMARK OF ANY REALLY GREAT IDEA. SO KIVA IS THE DUPLICATE THAT TAKES YOUR MONEY AND LOANS IT TO THE NEEDY. I CHOOSE A WOMAN IN SOUTH AMERICA, WANTING TO borrow $300 AND I SUPPLIED THAT LAST $25 SO SHE GETS THE LOAN. THERE IS A TIME LIMIT ON THE LOANS AND ALSO ON THE REPAYMENTS. SHE IS 60 AND NEEDED TO PURCHASE SOME NEW AND ADDITIONAL UTENSILS FOR HER LUNCH BUSINESS AND SOME TABLES AND CHAIRS FOR HER CUSTOMERS. I WILL LET YOU ALL KNOW IF SHE PAYS IT BACK. GREAT THINGS ARE GOING ON AND I CONTINUE TO BE AMAZED AND WHETHER IT IS GULLIBLE OR NOT IS NOT A PROBLEM FOR ME.
SHARI

Guy in white pants.

Bart train

Does blogging while riding on the Bart train count? The train is cool
and comfortable and excel for the guy in white pants who just got on
who is drumming his fingers in impatience the car is empty. Oh, they
just announced delay up ahead because of equipment problems. We will
wait at embarcadero
for an additional ten minutes
Or so. None of this seems to bother Sushi as she is quietly sleeping
in her carrier. For someone who is bothered by noise she doesn't seem
to mind the noise of travel on the train. I on the other hand have to
travel with noise cancelling ear phones. This seems to cut out the
wear and tear on me. I have really liked travels with them, and it is
the only time I listen to music except when I am working. We are now
through the tunnell and my veiw is bright. Most people on the train
are sleeping now, even the guy in the white pants. I wonder if this is
the current American form of meditation. The Bart riders do seem
much more mellow than drivers on the highways. I will try to capture a
Photo to send to my blog. I really like Thursday's.
Love always love, Shari

Shari

Amazed

SOMETIMES I AM AMAZED!

TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS I AM AMAZED. I HEARD ABOUT A WEBSITE CALLED WWW.KIVA.ORG. STARTED BY A COUPLE DOING WORK IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES, THIS WEB SITE MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO LOAN MONEY TO SPECIFIC PEOPLE WHO NEED A LOAN TO SUCCEED IN THEIR BUSINESS. THE REPAYMENT RATE IS UNBELIEVABLE AND YOU CAN WITHDRAW YOUR LOAN OR RE LOAN IT. WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNER WHO WON FOR DEVELOPING THE MICRO LOANS? THIS CONCEPT IS THE SAME, HOWEVER THIS IS OVER THE INTERNET AND MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PARTICIPATE EASILY. WOW, THIS IS SO INCREDIBLE. IT DOES FEEL GREAT. I WAS ABLE TO PICK WHO AND WHERE I WANTED TO LOAN THE MONEY.

Sushi out enjoying the holiday.

September is one of my Favorites

Hello all you September people, you Labor Day revelers. What is new? I know the Bay Bridge is Closed and they spent a million dollars advertising it's closure. I would have gotten the job done for half that price. Seriously, I could have done a better job for half the price and everyone would have been the better off for it. Brainstorming ideas is something that comes naturally to me. I have 15 or 20 great ideas a day. Follow through is difficult, but for half a million I would have handled it. I could hire someone known for their follow through and worked with them. All the homeless would be happy to work for some dollars to hold signs everywhere that the Bay Bridge is closed until Tuesday at 5AM. I wonder if they will make it on schedule? If not, they will get plenty of notice for not following through on their schedule. Good Luck. And the next time we need to know something, let's hire Actors. We can get the job done for much less and a lot better.

Do you Remember?

WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER? WHEN MY FRIENDS TALK ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THEY REMEMBER, I AM ALWAYS AMAZED AT HOW MUCH THEY REMEMBER AND IN WHAT INCREDIBLE DETAIL. THEY EVEN SAY I WAS THERE AND I DON’T REMEMBER AT ALL. LAST WEEK OR LAST YEAR OR 20 YEARS AGO, I JUST DON’T REMEMBER. AM I JUST NOT TRYING? THIS IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY DISTRESSING TO ME AS I GET OLDER. IS IT SOMETHING ELSE? ALZHEIMER’S? JUST A CRUEL JOKE? HEARING SOME OF THE ENLIGHTENED MASTERS TALK THEY REMARK ON HOW IF YOU ARE IN THE MOMENT YOU WILL NOT NEED TO REMEMBER THE PAST. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I AM NOT QUITE SURE, OR I JUST DON’T

Moon / Full?

DID YOU SEE THE FULL MOON? WHAT EXACTLY IS IT FULL OF? FULL MOON, I HAVE SEEN LOTS OF FULL MOONS, MOST OF WHICH YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO SEE. WHEN THE MOON ISN’T FULL IS IT HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? WHO IS THE FULL MOON KEEPER? HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW WHEN THE FULL MOONS ARE HAPPENING? THERE MUST BE SOMEONE TO CONTACT REGARDING SPECIFIC DATES FOR THE FULL MOONS.. IT REALLY ISN’T CONVENIENT WHEN THE NEXT FULL MOON IS, CAN I RESCHEDULE IT? I DID NOT SEE THE ECLIPSE, HOWEVER I WAS CALLED AT 2:50 A.M. JUST TO BE SURE I WOULDN’T MISS IT. PEOPLE ARE SO CONSIDERATE. I AM NOT SURE I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF DOING THE SAME.

PEOPLE DRIVE WAY TOO FAST IN PARKING LOTS

THEY DO, YOU KNOW IT AND I KNOW IT. SOME TIMES THEY DRIVE TOO FAST EVERYWHERE. THAT IS WHAT MY FRIEND SAYS. I TEND TO AGREE WITH HIM. SOMETIMES. HOWEVER YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. YOU SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ON AN EXPENSIVE CAR THAT GOES 160 MILES PER HOUR. YOU WANT TO GET YOUR MONEY’S WORTH. SO YOU GO A LITTLE TOO FAST, IN PARKING LOTS, ON FREEWAYS, ON CITY STREETS. OR YOU JUST HAVE THE NEED TO SHOW OFF. WHAT I REALLY THINK IS THAT EVERYONE IS JUST A BIT MORE ENLIGHTENED THAN THEY THINK. REALLY, NO WORRIES, GO FAST, IF SOMEONE GETS KILLED IT IS ALL GOOD. THERE IS LIFE AFTER, RIGHT? ENLIGHTENED SOULS, ALL OF YOU.

IT DOESN’T SEEM FAIR.

SO YOU GET A LITTLE OLDER, OKAY, A LOT OLDER AND THINGS SLOW DOWN. EVERYONE SAYS THAT IS THE NORMAL COURSE OF EVENTS.
HOWEVER I DON’T REALLY THINK IT IS FAIR. WHY SHOULD I SLOW DOWN? I DON’T FEEL LIKE SLOWING DOWN, I HAVE JUST AS MUCH OR MORE TO DO, AND I DON’T WANT TO SLOW DOWN. SO WHAT IS THE REAL DEAL? ONE FRIEND TOLD OF THE LATEST SCIENTIFIC STUDIES THEY HAVE DONE ABOUT WHY THINGS DIE. EVIDENTLY IT IS BECAUSE THERE IS A SPECIFIC AMOUNT OF HEART BEATS THAT ARE PRE SET FOR EACH SPECIES. THIS SEEMS TRUE FOR ALL SPECIES EXCEPT HUMANS WHO CAN TINKER WITH THE NUMBER OF ALLOTED BEATS. I DON’T EXACTLY WANT MORE BEATS, I JUST DON’T WANT TO SLOW DOWN. IT DOESN’T SEEM AS FUN. PERHAPS I WILL GET USED TO IT. IN THE MEAN TIME I HAVE A LOT TO GET DONE BEFORE I REALLY SLOW DOWN. WHAT WOULD WORK FOR ME IS TO KEEP GOING AT MY 35 YEAR OLD PACE UNTIL I JUST STOP. THAT SOUNDS MORE FUN.

Conversational English

What do we all spend so much time and money talking about? Cell phone bills are way too high, phone bills in general are ridiculous. What exactly is so important that we must speak about it for hours at a time? My personal guess is trying to understand the last unexplored frontier, relationship. No one understands them, what they are or how they work out. What purpose they serve whether they work out or not. Why we stay in a relationship, why we leave. Why we are in one and want to be in a different one. On and on go the questions without answers. There are those that propose to understand. However if you scratch the surface you generally find a scratched surface, one who has been through bumps and bruises of their own relationships without understanding anything at all. So relationship is the last unexplored, undiscovered country. It seems evident in our world, no one understanding all the effects of all the different species, living and dying. The dissimilarities of different races and religions are enough to kill you. Oh, actually that is what is happening, not a joke. So exploring I go. What are you feeling? What do you think? What are you doing? What do you want. I remember talking to a really great guy who could not find a significant other to be with. He was straight, and wanted a single woman, finding that special someone to be with. I quizzed him about what exactly he was looking for. He started talking, explaining what was important to him, want he thought he wanted in a woman, in a relationship. After a while I just started laughing. He wasn't looking for someone to be with, he was looking for his clone. He wanted someone who liked all the things he did, did all the things he did, wanted to do all the things he did, only a woman so he could have sex too. This people is not a relationship, trust me. What do you think a relationship is?

     Here is the most recent critic of the film Knocked Up. Sent to me by AdaM. Very interesting. It is so funny to get stuff meant for someone else.

Knocked Up the Movie is OUR movie
made by Imaginative Productions.

Knocked Up movie, the multi million dollar picture
is the one AdaM is reviewing.

     I would be so interested in AdaM reviewing our movie. At least get the movie right AdaM. www.KnockedUpTHEmovie.com

     Imaginative Productions made this movie with a group of talented San Francisco Actors. We were literally run over by the movie made after ours, by the same name. I think we made a great film. I hope we get distribution so AdaM can see ours. Maybe I should send him a free copy so he can watch it. Forget it, he should cough up the $20 bucks.

Name: AdaM
Email: yvr_adam@yahoo.co.uk
I am: Fan
Affiliations: None

Message: Sorry guys,
I haven't walked out of a movie since Total Recall in 1990.

This was CRAP! And I was soooo looking forward to it.

So much screaming & yelling & the most unlikely storyline. A woman with drive, direction, ambition & a great job.....falling for a fat, dope-smoking, unemployed slob.

Totally unbelievable & all round, a crap movie in my opinion.

Half a star....

Adam

Perect as Always

Perfection, what is it? Is it the best I can do? Most think not. It never seems good enough. Somehow. So what is perfect? What is perfection? If this is the best I can do, then how can it not be perfect? Oh, someone else can do better. What does that have to do with perfection? That has to do with someone else. Do they then think it is perfect? I think not, at least not in my experience. They also think it is not perfect, even if it is. Who decides that it is Perfect? Let’s just decide for instance, that you are perfect right here, right now. Done. Decided. Everything is perfect, right here right now. Isn’t it?

Time

I don't have time, I can't, I am not ready, Really what could I do? There isn't enough room, Not enough money, not enough preparation, not enough explanation, I don't really know how, I don't think I can do it, You don't really think I can do it either, no one supports me, no one cares, I don't think it will work out, I don't really want to, it isn't a good time for me, it isn't really the right moment, it is too big a risk, it is really too hard, no one expects me to succeed, everyone else has more money, more time, more help, more support than I do. This is just ridiculous to think that I could do that when others have tried and failed. I am too old, too short, too tall, too fat, too tired, I have too much to do. I can do it later, not right now, no one can help me, no one wants to help me, I tried and it didn't work. Feel free to borrow any of these sayings if you need to not do your life right now, and need to postpone or procrastinate.

Human?

There is a lot of news about the inner world of Mother Teresa. Evidently there are letters etc. found that she would rather have destroyed, that describe her inner conflicts regarding her faith. I don’t get it. Is everyone confused that she is a human being just like everyone else? Of course she was in conflict. She is a rational woman who has done great work on this earth, to the betterment of everyone. What is this movie going to look like? Please people, let us all be human and stop making stuff up about who others are. It is difficult enough to create your own story and do your life your way without making up such stories about others. Leave her alone, really. Do we all need people to be so different than human? Perhaps this is why we have such a hard time accepting ourselves as we are. Get real about yourself. That will take up all your time. Oh, and I think Mother Teresa is Brilliant!

Brilliance

To recognize Brilliance.

Often when I am coaching performers I am absolutely amazed at the incredible talent I see at work. Whether in a scene or a monologue, or being filmed for an audition, the opportunity to realize what it is exactly that makes it all work and come together in this one moment is exhilarating. When I ask the talent how they thought it went it is always very difficult for them to recognize that brilliant moment. This is understandable. When you are highly engrossed in what you are doing, it is often impossible to step back and really witness for yourself what you did. This is one reason it is so beneficial to work in a group where everyone is highly respected. I feel over all that the delay of recognition of brilliant works is so reflective of our unconscious society. I have high hopes that this will change. Van Gogh’s work was not recognized in his lifetime, it actually took over a hundred years. So actually should not complain that it takes years for people to really get talent that is ahead of it’s time. The work we do is brilliant and I feel blessed to be one of the few who recognize it in the moment.

Simplify

Simplify, trust yourself and breathe. That is the advice I am giving today when asked. Simplify, trust yourself and breathe. Since you can't live your life wrong, it seems good advice, don't you think? It does require giving up some sort of control. "But", your inner voice screams, "I want something, now. Trust yourself, does that mean I get what I want? 'Cause otherwise forget it. I want what I want. I want something and the universe wants something else. So how can I trust anything", you say. Remember the breathe part. You are life itself, and the breathe will remember you.

Tools

Tools of the Actor. It is not hard to develop tools you will need for your career. What is difficult is to be clear what it is you need. You do not need other people's technique, you do need a way to work with yourself. Tools are, a classical monologue, a contemporary monologue. Both comedic and dramatic. Two songs, one which can be sung acapella. Memorizing skills that are practiced every day. A strong workout routine that keeps you in shape and present. Dance skills, adding to your list of available skills every month. Practicing these skills, say, juggling, hula hoop, roller blading, roller skating, running, swimming 4 strokes, riding motorcycles, bicycles, jumprope, firearms. Develop your skills and also your wardrobe daily, and read, read, read. Plays, see movies, T.V. Do what you love, and invest in yourself.

Ten Reasons

Ten Reasons Why I can’t do What I Most Want to Do!

1. My pet is sick. 2. My car is broken. 3. I am exhausted. 4. My Mother, Sister, Brother, Aunt, Cousin, Boyfriend, is in town. 5. My Father doesn’t approve. 6. I am too old. 7. I am too young, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short. 8. It is too hard. 9. It is too late. 10. I can’t afford it.

Whatever you think you are right. And, if you really want to do it, just do it.

It is your life and you can't live it wrong.

What is your reason for not doing what you want?

Wrong Way!

Try the wrong way!

Always concerned about getting it right? Wondering if you are getting it right? Need to get it right the first time just for your own Ego gratification?

Those signs “STOP You are going the WRONG WAY” seem to speak to you personally?

Try it. I did. On my return from Hollywood I arrive at the coliseum / bart station to a huge crowd with policemen on the upper platform, all waiting for the same train I was. As I arrived the train going the opposite way was there with the doors open. I jumped on. It was going the wrong way. I went with it. I got off at the next station and missed the right train going my way. I had to walk down and cross and go up to the opposite platform. There was no one there. I was delayed 15 minutes for the next train as I sat outside enjoying the silence and the veiw. Someplace I had never been. When my train arrived it was a 10 car train. I got on the first car and it was empty. I enjoyed the ride all the way to Powell Street on this empty car. So this time, going the wrong way was much more enjoyable than crowding onto the right train, standing amidst the drunken throngs fresh from the ball game. Sometimes that is fun too. I heard some of the best harmony sung on the train once by a group of 5 guys using their time to express themselves. They were really great. So try the “wrong” way sometime. It seems to open up possibilities that you may not have thought of. Actors get frozen trying to get it right. They are polite, doing it right and it is boring. Please stop pleasing, getting it right, and going the same way everyone else is going.

Traveling here, Going there.

Where exactly is home? Aren’t we always travelling? Somewhere? And when we are travelling who is home?

I am not a problem solver. That is not what I do. Problems are not a problem. For Actors, problems are an invitation to find out more about who you really are. For instance, I thought I knew who I was, now there is this problem, now I am not so sure. Wow, I did not even think I would do that, and I did do that, now who am i? I am always grateful for problems. Not always in that moment, but eventually. I see it as an opportunity to experience me in a different situation. You do that consciously often enough and there isn’t any role you could not do extremely well. For the most part acknowledging the problem is enough. This awareness puts you in the moment you are in and expands you to include this that is a problem. When you travel there are many opportunities to experience yourself in different ways. It turns out my outlook seems to play a huge part in how my journey is going. Once I remarked that your life goes pretty much the way your relationship with your Mother went. With close examination this seems pretty accurate. How is your journey going? I know that I must consciously embrace a truer and clearer relationship with my mother, my sister and my daughter to Be who I really am. Acceptance and Acknowledgment guides me every step of the journey.

Wait for Me.

I just love Eckhart Tolle. He always agrees with me. Eckhart speaks about not putting anything between you and me. No technique, no thought. Listening to his talk he opened with “I trust that nobody is waiting for me to start, because everybody here knows we‘re here to give up waiting as a state of mind.” I totally agree. For years I have been saying the same thing. It always feels so gratifying when you hear something validated like that, especially by someone you admire and respect. Of course he goes on to discuss the state of no mind, etc. I won’t be doing that. We will stick to the acting thing. When I walk into my studio full of actors they are often just waiting to begin. I hear some actors comment they don’t like waiting around on sets. I have never been bored. Being on a set is like going to Disneyland. I remember going to Disneyland years ago. Having fun in line was frowned upon by the other tourists waiting to have fun to go on the ride. That really is a rip off. The wait time is hours and the ride lasts for a minute. Backwards I feel. Have fun now as it won’t last forever. You know, it seems very clear to me that we are not getting out of here alive (at least not in our bodies). I am a big fan of having fun. I guess that is why I am an actor. We get paid to have fun. We play, we dress up, hired to do silly things, rarely serious, although I am a serious artist, seriously. A great career all around I must say. All the world’s a stage and there is no waiting for the curtain to go up.

Susan?

What’s in a name?

Seriously people, how hard is it to name your hard drive. After working on the computer for 8 or so hours we cleared enough space for one hard drive to now be empty. That is cool. So what do you want to call it? This is more difficult than naming a child. Brainstorming, thinking, what should this empty storage space be called? It is empty, there is nothing on it. That makes it harder. If it had something stored in it I could name it with some name that would be recognizable for the contents. That is easy. I can’t name it empty because it isn’t supposed to be empty and as soon as I use it something will be in it. What that something is I am not sure. I will know after I put something in it. Or is it on it? For now it is empty and as I am happy that it is empty, what should I call it. What if we had to name our BRAIN? The parts we haven’t used yet. The empty parts, unused part, the part that has the capacity to change our world, or at least my world as I know it. I always wondered what it would be like if I was really, really smart. It seems like it would be fun. I would still have empty parts of my brain, but I bet I could name them then. Large Empty Brain Waiting to be Used. No, that sounds like an ad on Craigs List. Fresh unused Brain, no. How about Susan? That is a great name. Susan. I like that name. It reminds me of lazy susan. We used those a lot when I was little. Lazy Susan, because her brain is completely empty. Oh maybe that would be enlightened Susan because her brain is empty. Oh, just Susan. I don’t think the other hard drives will mind. They are still so full of unknown stuff they won’t have time to think. They will all get along I am sure.

What's in your Living Room

I was just talking to Michael, my friend. He is also an artist. He was complaining about his most recent frustrating situation. When you talk to business people it is always about some business problem. When you talk to an artist it is always interesting. Michael has a boat in his living room. That is a problem. We talked about how it got there. What he should do. The boat is 4ft by 9 ft. He lives in a small apartment, so with the boat there it is very difficult to maneuver around it. Getting it up the stairs was also a problem, which is when he realized this was probably not going to work out. So, if you know of anyone looking for a dinghy small enough to fit in your living room, contact me. I am sure he will get this problem solved. He always does. And it is always interesting. Oh, it comes with oars.

Lead for Example

I am constantly reading things wrong. Take the word live for example. Is it live, like keep on living or is it live like happening now as in we are live on the radio, which of course then they rebroadcast and it still says it is live but it isn’t. I find that a bit confusing. When I make the error of saying the word wrong, as in pronouncing it out loud wrong for that instance everyone seems very willing to laugh very loud at me. As if they have never made the same mistake. Lead for example. Lead is a perfectly fine metal used in making all kinds of things that are useful. Lead for lead’s sake is fine. When compared to Gold it is bad. It’s the connotation, not really. When used in the same context as Pewter, another metal used for lots of things, it is just yet another metal. Lead, though can mean to have others follow you. That is a bit confusing. I always read the “Lead by example” as the metal, not the follow me. It always makes me laugh. Other’s too if I had ever shared it. At the famous Joe’s in San Francisco, they wear t-shirts that say something about rain or shine there's always a line. I thought they were famous for always a line, like when the waiters came perhaps they were saying a line or something that was funny. I didn’t get it, but I always thought that. Then of course I realized they meant there was a line out the door. There isn’t but I guess they like to think so. Just as funny don’t you think? No point tonight, no point at all, just the ramblings of a blogger leading for example.

Dragons and Such

I have a Dragon at my door. Every time I choose to come out the Dragon roars. I like to think it is to warn me, but it scares me and often I retreat back inside. My Dragon is female and very fierce. As I have gotten older I realize my dragon is only activated when I first step out. If I keep going my dragon doesn't appear again. New risk, a new opportunity, Dragon. Same old same old, no dragon. I have learned to honor and respect my dragon. Alerting me to the instances I am creating something new in my life. Letting me know my life is about to get more interesting. I think knowing your very own personal Dragons is very valuable. This can be an aid to alert you to a change, something. What kind of Dragon do you have? Does it have a name?

Pass it Back or Pass it on.

Pass it back or Pass it on.

I am reminded today to remember to choose consciously when speaking. Consciously meaning to not link worlds and words together that don’t belong together. Like Breast /Cancer for example. Two words that I do not think ever belong together. People have been raising money for breast /cancer now for years. They run for breast/ cancer, hold charity auctions for it, do many marvelous things. Breast/ Cancer is benefitting. There is now more of it than ever before in history. I have never given money for any such thing, nor invested my time energy or resources for any such thing. I am not interested in it at all. If we get together and raise money for Breast Health, now that is interesting. Breast Health. Great Idea. Sounds like a new drink. umm umm good. I like that. You can get all my energy and attention around that. Being a woman I have and am intested in having Healthy Breasts. Most men I know are very interested in Healthy Breasts. Healthy Breasts, Breast Health, Breast Care, Care of Breasts. Nice ring to it, don’t you think? Now let’s try that concept out on the guys.

Tell Me About Yourself

Tell me about yourself. What do you say. I don't want a resume and I don't want a list of your likes and dislikes. How about something interesting, something that will catch my attention, how about something you did or thought or experienced. Your original take on your life. Oh and leave out the ums and ah, and slapping of your legs and the clicking of your tongue. Then, actually, why don't you script this and memorize it. How about writing down a few of these in case you might need it? Then I could always say, how interesting, tell me more, or how about tell me something else interesting about you. I would like to get to know you. This special tool may come in handy in myriads of situations. Everyone should have a tell me about you kind of thing handy.

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Cars and Things

I don't have a car here in San Francisco. Of course I have one in L.A. Everyone does. Here in San Francisco I take Bart or sometimes a Cab. Recently I decided I need to get out and run some errands. Zip I go. I am a Zipster. I have a ZipCar at my disposal 24/7. At under $8 dollars an hour when I need it, it includes gas and insurance, it is great for the few times a month that I actually would like a car. The best of all it comes with it's own parking space. A block away from my work. Included! I compared City Car Share and Flex Car. These are also great options. I have to say that using a car only sometimes makes me feel so modern. Or green. Or whatever the correct term is. I still hear some people say that Global Warming is a crock. Oh, I wish it was. If only it weren't true. Then we could all go on just like we are going. Hmmm. Whether or not you believe the science can back up the warming of the planet the consequences are the same. You do not have to believe in gravity to be governed by it. Whatever is my point. I don't believe I have one. Or if I did it has already been made. Oh, what about the Bus? Oh, I don't take the bus. I grew up in L.A. No one takes the bus, we all drive cars. In LA they have a metro, I have asked everyone I know, including everyone at the airport if they know where the Metro goes or if they have ever taken it. So far no one I have met has any idea where it goes nor has anyone used it. Where does the Metro go? I have been told there are 2 lines that actually do not connect from different companies. Now that is planning ahead. No Zip there, oh and so far I don't think they have a zip or flex or car share program either. Everyone has a car. I know because everyone has time to talk to me while they are driving. Oh, don't worry, they are driving really slow, with traffic and all. Where are all those people going?

It is not too late if I say it isn't

Not too late to write, not too late to work, not too late to catch up on unfinished business. It is not too late to create something new, clean something old. It is not too late to make my dreams come true. I have always considered myself a success. By what standards? By my own standards of course. It is up to me to decide if I am successful. It is up to me to decide to change or grow or learn something new. It is all made up anyway. All the rules, all the thoughts. We are all just making them up as we go along. Let's have a war, oh let's not. Let's make a car run on garbage. Let's make global warming stop and reverse itself. Let's play.
Acting is like that. Making things up. You don't ask "Am I talented enough to be an actor?" Don't ask "Do I have what it takes?" Don't ask at all. Follow your passion, make your dreams come true. Do all this and more now because it is not too late. Even if the computer says this blog was written on Saturday early in the AM, I know it was written on Friday Night.

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A Blog A Day

There is the most interesting response when you hear a 2 year old in the middle of the night quietly say to himself, where did the lid go? Immediately you are awake and responsive. These still small voices seem to shatter the silence. In many ways our very own still small voice can be heard as we start to do something and we can just catch the quiet little voice that says “you shouldn’t do that”. I have learned to listen. I am grateful every moment for the ability to listen to that still small voice.

I can remember the 2 or three times I wouldn’t listen. I was faced with silence for months before it came back. The last time which was years ago, I promised myself I would listen no matter what and obey my still small voice. So, a blog a day. I am listening.

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My Inbox Is Full

My Inbox is Full. A Monologue

Yes it is true. My inbox is full. I did not select to archive old items and I did not delete them. Now it is full. It seems to be just like my mind. Full. Full of thoughts, full of ideas, (that can’t be bad can it?) full. Does this happen to you? So I took a great risk and I hit select all and delete. Now my inbox is empty. It doesn’t seem to be that easy with my mind. I try to remember what it was that was in my inbox. Was it important? Was it something I was supposed to do? Was it something I had to do? Was it something I wanted to do and now I will never remember what it was? So many questions. What to do. Maybe I can retreive it all. Go into a special email inbox retreival therapy. Maybe I can get it all back. Do I want it back? Do I need it back? Is it really all that important? How much of it was junk mail? I wonder if I returned yesterday’s email? I think I need to learn how to type faster, and faster. I think that will help. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It is just the way it is. One good thing is I don’t get so many phone calls anymore. I seem to return those. I think I do anyway. Maybe I don’t and that is why I am not getting so many anymore. Oh wait I just got a new email. It is junk but I feel so much better. Here is another one I can try to ignore now. Oh, they are piling up. I feel so much better. I wonder how long It will be before I hit select and delete again. The first time I think it was about 15 years. Now it seems I can do it in a day. And then there is always the one email I seem to have forgotten about and don’t check at all. I think I forgot the password anyway. I think that one is from my Mother.

Blog Tuesday

I am always happy to learn new things. Today I learned that if you are on a low budget SAG film, and you are non-union, you can get on the contract with the SAG Union Actors as a professional performer and it will count towards your pension and health. Now that is a good thing to know. Of course it is extremely specific to actors, who are working to get their union status, and not so useful to those who are already union. It is a good reminder to always ask questions because there will be something new to be learned by paying attention. Paying attention to your own needs and learning how to easily and quickly get these needs met to the best of your ability creates a sense of self that is confident. Now you are ready to really pay attention in relationships and participate and add to your environment by choice. That sounds like fun now doesn’t it?

Believe This

On the subject of believing…

Whenever we share our beliefs it seems a special and sacred moment. When we meet we often begin a shared belief quest. Who are you, what do you believe. Society in general is uncomfortable with someone else’s different beliefs. Couples often split up because of differing belief systems. Raising a child when the parents have differing beliefs are believed the cause for all kinds of problems. Exclusive beliefs that are shared with your closest loved ones are the experience most of us need to feel safe. When someone dies, or is married, or divorced, or doesn’t divorce because of a belief, is easier when we all agree to believe the same thing. No results are required here, only belief, which then gets mixed up with having faith.

An Actor has an incredible advantage over these limited belief systems. And they are all exclusive and limited. An Actor can figure out what belief system the character is operating with and adopt that belief system immediately. This is very transformational and astonishing to those who have never changed belief systems nor investigated their own or others different from their own. This particular insight gives Actors a constant opportunity to examine and understand the value in all belief systems. This is why I believe Acting is a Healing Art. Walking in anothers shoes so to speak gives us the understanding we need to get along with those who are different from us.

Acting in Hollywood

Working in Hollywood seems different than anywhere else in the country. Acting in Hollywood seems even more dynamic. Having grown up in Hollywood and working and teaching and coaching in New York, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco and Hollywood, I have a perspective on what is different. And to tell you the truth, it isn’t that different. All work requires the acting 101 skill set, all work anywhere is looking for the best talent for the job that they can find. Casting an actor in any city requires the audition and interview and a look at the talent, so a choice can be made. So in many ways it is the same. What is different in Hollywood is that no matter where the actor comes from or what their training, in Hollywood they all know somehow what it is that is being cast and the talent is willing to forsake who they are intrinsically in order to be whatever or whomever they “know” they are casting. This is of course a myth, which is highly perpetrated by the casting people, the studios, and actors themselves. Actually anyone you talk to in Hollywood. “They Know”. This myth is perpetrated to the point that astounds me. I have cast a few projects, and have worked both sides of the camera, and the real truth is they are looking for an actor that knows the job and how to do it. Incredible talent is not required, just watch T.V. Do you know what your job as an actor really is? So do your job and the casting will take care of itself, no matter which city you live in. Today’s world is remarkable because you can actually live anywhere and be cast and still work in Canada. Hollywood Actors need to do their job like everyone else. Chances are you will be working in Winnemucca Nevada when you are cast. Commit to doing your job. That is what makes the difference.

New Look

Life as an Actor means that my children were exposed to an Actors life style as well. They did not become Actors. Too much waiting around they said. I never mind the waiting around. I have never been bored on a set. Working on a set seems like being at Disneyland for me. I have never felt my time was wasted or I wanted to be somewhere else. It seems that most of my time is spent trying to get onto a set. Of course that is where we get paid. All the rest of the time it is auditions and class and working out and learning something new and trying something new and shopping for wardrobe for new looks etc. etc. My son just turned 30 and now I face the next phase of my career. I always like it when I change categories as it is a challenge to create myself anew. A new look, a new role, a new character. Just when I was tired of the roles that I had played up to this point I get to try something new. One of the advantages of this life as an actor career.

Life Actor

Having grown up in Hollywood it seemed the logical choice to be an actor. Now, having lived as an actor and what I call a creative for most of my life, I realize there have been other choices. Many in fact. However I do not regret this choice. I have experienced many more things being an actor than if I had chosen another career. This has been enhanced for me because I also coach actors and singers and other creative types for over 20 years now. This is quite a treat. People are so interesting. Actors the most interesting of all. I find they are the most inquisitive, enlightened people I have ever met. It is quite a choice to live life as an Actor. Very different from other careers. It does require much dedication and attention to succeed in the business, and the journey is long. meaning there is no age limit. I recently read of a woman in Santa Monica that decided she would be an actor and she was 72 years old. Last I heard she was doing quite well. Some movies and some commercials. And isn't that what it is all about?